combined:
fall asleep. unsure that you are really asleep, still feel your own heavy breathing. hear heavy and loud knocking on front door, know it’s unlocked because your roommate never brings his keys and you don’t want to lock him out. hear man and two younger children enter. hear them rummage about house, realize by this point you must be hallucinating because your apartment doesn’t actually look like this. small girl opens your door and sees you, yelps and runs out. during that you try to move body and speak and open your eyes but nothing is working correctly, oh god maybe you are asleep but WAY too conscious because there is a mosquito buzzing by your left ear. you think to yourself, this is the gatorade’s fault, i am having a goddamn hallucination because of this chinese gatorade. after five minutes know the people have left your apartment—and when your body finally springs up, you look in the mirror to see a huge welt forming on your cheek. thirsty, take a sip of gatorade.
fall back onto pillow, think this time really must be a dream because your apartment really does not look like this. industrial warehouse lights selectively, dimly, barely shine in rooms. see chalkboard, attached to the bottom are two paper rag-doll cutouts of children (a boy and girl) left by the previous home invaders; rip them off, tear them up and look into the mirror again. see small whiteheads appear on skin. look down at arm, see clusters of whiteheads spreading all over body, yellow and white pus-filled bumps raising little hills *all* over your body. convinced this is a dream, this has to be a dream, but fucking damn that gatorade. compose a poem and write it on the chalkboard. recall the poem upon waking.
wake up for real. actually do hear knocking on front door after a few minutes—naked, sick and sure as hell not getting up. hope they go away. they do. hear mobile receive an email ten seconds after they leave. do not check email out of mild fear that this is all somehow connected. suspect your sanity and why it is you think this mosquito is female. open bedroom door to see nothing in the rest of the house; lock bedroom door. turn on laptop, consider emailing A, write tumblr post instead. unsure why you are so disturbed and paranoid about freakishly realistic (fever?) nightmares. fever sweated out completely this morning.
